Learning to cook made easy!

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You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four

large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a

teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a

bottle of whisky.

Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the

highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on

the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the

mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup

of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the

beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups

of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift

the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon.

Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget

to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check

the whisky again and go to bed.