Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
letter that I don't mind forwarding.
It's funny (don't break chain)
A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.
The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following
note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the'Big T.'
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body." He did not say,"Eat me.."
12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Marywith the Cherry'.
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Minister of Educ & Sports - Arupo Jessica
Minister of Energy - Irene Muloni
Minister in-charge of Presidency - Kabakumba Matsiko
Minister of Works & Transport - Abraham Byandaala
Minister of Justice - Kahinda Otafiire
Minister of Trade & Ind. - Amelia Kyambadde
Minister of Lands - Daudi Migereko
Minister of Health - Androa Christine
Minister of Comm. & ICT - Ruhakana Rugunda
Minister without portfolio - Nasser Sebaggala
Minister of Internal Affairs - Hillary Onek
Minister of State for Econ Monitoring - Henry Banyenzaki
Minister of State for Ethics & Integrity - Simon Lokodo
Minister of State for higher Educ - John Muyingo
Minister of State for Investment -Muyanja Mbabaali
Minister of State for Microfinance - Amali Okao
Minister of State for Local Govt - Alex Onzima
Thursday, May 26, 2011
competition. Gents, its what we've been waiting for. Plz read it is
important, i believe it is already in African market!
Is this the end of marriage as we know it ???
This would be the best $6000 you'd ever spend.
These are pictures of a Swedish doll made of silicone.
The texture of the skin is similar to 99.8% of the human skin.
It will last two years if used constantly and consistently every day.
Completely adjustable to any position you want..
There are 100 sensors spread around the body.
There are 30 sensors on the private parts.
Each sensor makes her move in a specific way,
up to 20 positions.
On penetration she emits a light gentle sound that
echoes gently in your ears.
Comes with inbuilt sound in the throat and recognizes up to 16 commands
that are extremely personal up to two meters away from her ears.
When there is any type of pulsation sensed in her
private parts she emits light moans of stimulation.
Above all that she gets wet with a slight touch over
any of the sensors.
Most important, she has a voice password which
should be protected from disclosure.
She has three entries (vaginal , anal, and oral)
She can move her head in any direction you choose.
Completely customizable to your liking so you can
choose the following:
PUBIC HAIR COLOR OR COMPLETELY SHAVEN.
NUMEROUS ADVANTAGES AND FEW DISADVANTAGES.
* She does not speak
* She does not get fat
* She never has periods
* She does not pass gas
* She never goes shopping
* She does not get pregnant
* She does not have a mother
* She never ever gets headaches
* She does not go to the hairdresser
* She does not watch soaps or Oprah
* She does not care what we watch on TV
* She does not frequent internet chat rooms
* She will never get elderly human physical attributes
* She will not get jealous if you bring home another
* She will not nag if you go out and she won't care
* when you return
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne
and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new
wife asked, "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and
"I had tolio as a child," he answered.
"You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio . The disease only affected my toes."
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked
"What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained..
"You mean measles?" she asked.
"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me," she said.
"Let me guess...
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
By Stephen Twinoburyo
According to Stockholm International Peace Research Institute (SIPRI), an institute that tracks military spending of 173 countries around the , in their Background Paper released in January 2011, Uganda in 2009 imported from S Africa arms worth Rand 169.2 million ($24 m). Uganda was by far the highest of the 32 African countries SA exported arms to. The 2nd highest country, Senegal, bought less than half (Rand 84 m) and the 3rd highest, Kenya, approx a third (Rand 55 m).
Uganda’s armed purchase from 2009 alone dwarfed what many Africa countries had spent on S African arms over a period of 10 years from 2000.
The transfer of major conventional weapons by South Africa to Uganda between 2000 to 2009 included the following APC/ISV type military vehicles:
2002 15 RG-31 NYALAS
2OO4 5 MAMBAS
2005 31 BUFFELS
2009 6 GILLAS
According to SIPRI, armoured vehicles supplied from South Africa were also used in the violent suppression of demonstrations in Uganda in 2006.
Information from the South African National Conventional Arms Control Committee (NCACC), presented in a report by Peter Bachelor titled “South Africa’s Arms Trade and the Commonwealth: A Cause for Concern?” (http://carecon.org.uk/Leverhulme/P12.pdf) , shows that Uganda’s arms imports from post-apartheid South Africa between 1996 and 1998 amounted to only Rand 41.8 million. This however was second only to Congo-Brazzaville in Africa.
The BBC, on 1 March 2006 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4762386.stm), cited an Oxfarm report that showed how a South African subsidiary of the British company BAE Systems sold Mamba armoured personnel carriers to the Ugandan government ahead of the country’s general elections. The report said at least 32 such vehicles had been sold to Uganda by the subsidiary, called Land Systems OMC, since 2002, with the most recent consignment before the release of the report arriving just ahead of polling day. The report went further to say that at least three people had been killed when the vehicles were used to quell demonstrations a week before the elections.
Uganda’s overall military expenditure has risen from UG Shillings 234 billion to 583 billion (US $268 million).
There is concern in some circles about the sale of arms to African countries like Uganda. Peter Bachelor in his report quotes James Speth, an administrator at the United Nations Development Programme, as saying “ The world cannot ask Africa to develop and then blight its development efforts through the sale of arms and ammunition that fuel Africa’s civil conflicts”
South African armoured personnel carriers have been very prominent in the recent brutal crackdowns on the peaceful walk-to work protests which have seen the death of at least 10 people.
Recently, the country signed a deal for delivery of Russian military fighter jets worth US $740 million. But the real question should be, why is the Uganda government buying arms at such a massive level when their people are living in wallowing poverty? According to the International Monetary Fund, the country, GDP per capita stands at a lowly US $509. The country’s infrastructure is crumbling and public health is non-existent. Quality education is a thing of the past. Why then does the government need to spend heavily on arms?
Because of the threat of Lord Resistance Army’s Joseph Kony and the war on terror, the wold was quick to give Uganda arms without strict scrutiny. It’s now questionable whether the imported arms were indeed for these purposes. Following what has been witnessed in Uganda over the past few weeks, it’s prudent that developed democracies restrict arms sales to Uganda.
On 5 May 2011, a Ugandan newspaper, the Red Pepper, reported that the Ugandan Police Force had imported more that 40 South African made anti riot trucks called Nyalas (type RG-31) to bolster their already rich collection (http://redpepper.co.ug/welcome/?p=7753).
Ugandans in South Africa, in a petition to President Zuma, requested that South Africa puts a stop to the sale of arms to the present government of Uganda. Recent events in Uganda have shown that the weapons Uganda imports are for use against her people rather than advance their well-being. Unconfirmed reports say that much of the teargas used against demonstrators and the dyed spray used against opposition leaders are imported from South Africa. International media reported that the coloured spray was a common tool used by the apartheid police and what is being used in Uganda could be remnants of that.
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