Sunday, July 31, 2011

Serena hotel...?

If you thought going out was fun try SERENA HOTEL

Want to take your special one to Serena?
Here is what is to be expected……………………
Question: "What would you like to drink ... fruit juice, soda, tea, milo, chocolate, or coffee?"
Answer: "Tea please"
Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, ice tea or green tea?"
Answer: " Ceylon tea please"
Question: "How would you like it? Black or white?"
Answer: "White please"
Question: "Milk, whitener, or condensed milk?"
Answer: "Milk please"
Question: "Goat milk, camel milk or cow milk?"
Answer: "Cow milk please."
Question: "Milk from Friesland or African cow?"
Answer : "African cow please."
Question: "Warm or cold?"
Answer: "Warm please."
Question: "Full cream, low fat or fat free?"
Answer: "Umm ... I'll rather take it black please."
Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar please."
Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar please."
Question: "White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Just forget about the tea. I'll have a glass of water instead please."
Question: "Mineral or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water please."
Question:"Flavoured or non-flavoured ?"
Answer: "Ssebo, mpa amazzi tombuuza oba ga mugga oba kidiba. Setaaga kumanya gye gavudde ne by'ogataddemu njagala mazzi toddamu kumbuuza bibuuzo. “(Sir, give just give me water, do not ask me where its from a well or a pond. I do not need to know where it is from and what you have added into it. I just need water do not ask me more questions)”
Question: "Sir, I don't think we have that type of water'
Answer:" kumanyoko!

Monday, July 25, 2011

In-Laws!

Kale ono Muka!!!!
It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter-in-law arrives in the family, everything changes.
Some daughters-in-law are well trained and well mannered....They don't come to change the family, they are here just to... (
READ ON!)

The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in the traditional manner.
As expected she gave a speech:

"My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me into my new home and family. Firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine .No, I will never do that, never in a million years."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the father-in-law.

"What I mean Dad is (looking at her in-laws):


Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.

Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND

Those who used to clean should continue cleaning!!!


"And what are you here for?" enquired the mother-in-law.


"ME!!!! I'M HERE ONLY TO ENTERTAIN YOUR SON!!!!!"


Google Plus "scoops" Twitter with news of Oslo bombing | IJNet

Google Plus "scoops" Twitter with news of Oslo bombing | IJNet

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Are you useless?

10 Ways to Tell Whether a Person Emailing You is Real


If your email box looks anything like mine, it’s crammed with messages – some of which are from people I’ve never heard of, and didn’t care to hear from either. Who are these people and why are they emailing me? If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, then read on. I’m going to share with you 10 ways that you can tell whether someone emailing you is for real.

  1. Check names of other recipients – If you notice that the email has been sent to other parties whose email addresses are very close alphabetically, chances are the message was sent by a bot. In other words, if your email address is Dave43@isp.com, and the email has also been sent to Dave44, Dave46, etc., then you know the email is bogus.

  2. Verify Claims – If an email makes reference to a news story, or a financial opportunity, you can usually check online to see if it’s authentic. Anything of that sort which you’ve received in your mailbox, if it’s truthful, will more than likely have been posted on a trusted website as well. If it’s bogus, on the other hand, it might be documented on sites like snopes.com.

  3. Gone Phishing – One tip-off that an email is a phishing attempt is a request for personal or account info. If an email purports to be from a trusted site such as a financial institution, and asks you for private data, then you know something’s phishy. In any case, emails that ask for such info should generally be regarded as a security risk.

  4. Verify the Sender’s Address – Make sure that the sender’s address actually matches the entity or location from where it claims to be sent. Phony emails will have a trustworthy-sounding name in the “From” box, but an actual email address which doesn’t match.

  5. Generic Greetings – If the email greets you with “Dear Valued Customer”, or “Dear Friend”, etc., it’s probably not genuine. Legitimate companies have software that personalizes their greetings by matching them to the recipient’s name.

  6. Check the Grammar/Spelling – It’s probably fake if it’s written poorly. Genuine emails of an official nature are highly unlikely to contain grammatical or spelling errors.

  7. Bogus Website Address – Whenever an email provides a link to a website which it claims to be legitimate, but has extra characters on the end (i.e.: www.citibank.com/scam?uid5tg), that’s an indication of a fraud.

  8. “Update Your Records” – Companies will not request that you update account information via email. If there is any doubt whatsoever as to the origin of the email, go to your account via a trusted or bookmarked link rather than the one provided in the email. You can confirm there whether your account is up to date, or by calling a trusted number to speak directly with a representative.

  9. “Do I Know You?” - Confirm whether the sender is someone with whom you’ve ever done business with or contacted before. If not, you can be certain that the email is either spam or a phishing attempt.

  10. “I’ve won what now?” – It’s not likely that you’ve been selected as the winner of a sweepstakes that you don’t even recall entering. Nor are the odds very good that you’re on speaking terms with Nigerian royalty. So act accordingly.

    10 Signs You’ve Spent Too Much Time at a Public Hotspot

    By admin on July 20, 2011

    It happens. You’re cramming for finals or working on a business proposal. Perhaps you’ve been doing research online for a term paper, or been engrossed in an effort to author the next Great American Novel. Something’s been keeping you busy on that laptop for months, so you never see the writing on the wall. Then it happens.

    You discover that you may very well have overstayed your welcome at your favorite WiFi hotspot. How did you not see this coming? Well, here’s a list of clues for you – 10 signs that you’ve spent too much time at your favorite public WiFi hotspot:

    1. They’ve named a menu item after you. This is a fairly good indication that you’ve become a fixture at Cafe Latte Da. If it comes with free refills, you may need to reconsider your purchasing habits.
    2. You’ve ordered every other item on the menu at least twice. But you’ve never ordered more than one item on any one visit. Way to milk it there, big spender.
    3. Tech Support has your phone number listed as 1-800-Java-Hut. Not that it’s your fault, mind you. You had to give them another callback number when your iPhone went dead right in the middle of a service call. That leads us to clue #3:
    4. Your iPhone battery runs out before your first order of coffee does. This, by the way, is further proof that you need to re-assess your policy about paying for your table. Seriously.
    5. You researched colleges online, right at this very table, after graduating from John Adams High School. Now you’re a post-grad student, and still haven’t spent enough here to cover your electricity usage.
    6. Halfway through Chapter 1, your servers changed shifts … twice. OK, so you’re not exactly on pace with Danielle Steele, but so what? She doesn’t have a bagel with her name on it either.
    7. You’ve been offered a job – as their night cleaner. Of course, this could have been precipitated by the fact that your table has enough used napkins and sugar packets on it by the end of the day to fill a trash can.
    8. The AC outlet near your usual table was covered with a No Loitering sign. Not that you’ve overstayed your welcome or anything. It’s probably just an odd coincidence, except:
    9. There’s now a jukebox plugged into your outlet. And call us cynical, but the fact that there are nothing but Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber songs on it can’t be a good sign. Then again, the No Loitering sign, which is now tucked prominently in the menu holder on your table, is definitely not a good sign.
    10. Off-Peak Hours are defined as “whenever you’re not there”. The hints have become a bit blunt here, so it may be time to shop for new office space. Just make sure to update your contact info with Tech Support.

    Tuesday, July 19, 2011

    BURNS!!!!


    A young man sprinkling his lawn and bushes with pesticides wanted to check
    the contents of the barrel to see how much pesticide remained in it. He
    raised the cover and lit his lighter; the vapors inflamed and engulfed
    him. He jumped from his truck, screaming. His neighbor came out of her
    house with a dozen eggs, yelling: "bring me some eggs!" She broke them,
    separating the whites from the yolks. The neighbor woman helped her to
    apply the whites on the young man's face. When the ambulance arrived and
    when the EMTs saw the young man, they asked who had done this. Everyone
    pointed to the lady in charge. They congratulated her and said: "You have
    saved his face." By the end of the summer, the young man brought the lady
    a bouquet of roses to thank her. His face was like a baby's skin.

    Healing Miracle for burns:

    Keep in mind this treatment of burns which is included in teaching
    beginner fireman this method. First aid consists to spraying cold water
    on the affected area until the heat is reduced and stops burning the
    layers of skin. Then, spread egg whites on the affected are.
    One woman burned a large part of her hand with boiling water. In spite of
    the pain, she ran cold faucet water on her hand, separated 2 egg white
    from the yolks, beat them slightly and dipped her hand in the solution.
    The whites then dried and formed a protective layer.
    She later learned that the egg white is a natural collagen and continued
    during at least one hour to apply layer upon layer of beaten egg white.
    By afternoon she no longer felt any pain and the next day there was hardly
    a trace of the burn. 10 days later, no trace was left at all and her skin
    had regained its normal color. The burned area was totally regenerated
    thanks to the collagen in the egg whites, a placenta full of vitamins.
    This information could be helpful to everyone:
    Please pass it on
    Also check out EARTH CLINIC:
    http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/burns2.html#EGGWHITES_49679

    How to Recover Data From a Corrupt Memory Card or USB Drive

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