Sunday, July 27, 2014
Did you know that Twitter has six different networks? Did you know that the best day for engagement on Facebook is Friday? Did you know that Pinterest has specific themes for certain days of the week?
Some of you might have learnt never to trust social media because it (apparently) has a negative impact on society. One thing experts can all agree on: social media is essential to your business. Just don’t let social media be the reason you get robbed.
Click to enlarge.
Most women don't like to help unknown men;
All men are ready anytime to help unknown women...
If a man is allowed to select
a girl from 100 girls
and even if he picks the most
he still FEELS the PAIN of losing the
remaining NINETY NINE...
Women say... men don't have
What's the difference between a man a woman ...A man always has the same DICK betweenhis legs all his life ...A woman MAY NOT!!
Wife = Where R u.?
Husband = I'm At "Bank"
Wife = Wow thats good I need 200,000 For new Cell Phone
100,000 for new dress , 60000 for new shoes, 40000 for
The Critera for Selection
Male criteria for life partner...
They expect their women to Look like "Miss Universe" and
Work like"house girls..."
Females' criteria for life partner....
was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the
other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the
sent you a KISS before you begin your speech.
The letters stand for “Keep It Short, Stupid.”
Dedicated to all couples
Always keep your wives/husbands picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture say:
if I can handle this, I can handle anything!
The Lost Rooster
The Priest in a small Irish Village was very fond of Chicken
he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish manse.
He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.
One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing and as that
was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village
he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation "Has anybody got a cock?"
Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." -
Running Away From a Cop.
A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost. She reduced
altitude shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago
the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude
59 degree West longitude.
Lady: You must be an engineer.
Man: How do you know?
Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but
useless the fact is I'm still lost.
Engineer: You must be in Top Management.
Lady: Ya. How do you know?
Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you're going
. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep,
you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
(on the night of the World cup Final)
Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks. Why is he not
talking to me?
Is he thinking of another
Is he seeing someone?
Don’t I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my
Is he trying to dump me?
Have I put on weight
Does my make up repel him these days?
Is he upset with my nagging? Why?
Husband thinks: Why the hell did Man U draw with Arsenal... ?
Joe was a house keeper who had this habit of drinking from
his boss’s wine bottle and replacing it with water. ?
The boss, Sam, did suspect him but tolerated it for a while..
But when this became a daily routine, Sam decided to do
something to trap Joe.
So he shouted: "Joe?"
Joe answered from the kitchen: “Yes boss?”
Sam: “Who drank my wine and added water in the bottle?”
There was no answer from the kitchen.
The boss repeated the question, still no answer.
The angry boss marched to the kitchen and threatened Joe,
“What the hell is going on? When I call your name you respond
with ‘Yes Boss’ but when I ask you a question,
you can hear only your name being called..
You don’t hear anything else that is said, I swear.”
Sam: “How is that possible? All right, I will prove you wrong..
You stay right here in the hall with Madam,
I will go to the kitchen and you ask me a question”
So the boss went to the kitchen.
Joe shouted: “Boss?”
Boss: “Yes Joe?"
Joe: “Who got the maid pregnant?”
Joe, yet again: “And who arranged for her abortion?”
Once again silence..
Sam came running from the kitchen and said:
"you are right Joe. When one is in kitchen,
"A Wedding suit
for sale, used
only once by
her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your
onto this hat.”
“But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!”
“Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old.
The Accountants Wife
Wife ;Why in marriages Bride is always on the Left??
"Husband reply - According to profit and loss statement a/c all income
is on right side and expenses are in left side"....