Most alcoholics or drug addicts will attempt any number of self score tests to determine whether they are alcoholic or not, but because of their problems with cognition, they fail to come to a logical and satisfactory conclusion. Well, I designed my own perfect self test questionnaire for anyone who wants to establish whether they are addicts or not:
Have You Ever Done What?
1. Have you ever woken up in the evening and thought that it was morning?
2. Have you ever found yourself going somewhere, but did not know where you were going?
3.Have you ever tried to move forward, but instead ended up moving backwards?
4. Has the ground ever risen slowly and slummed you in the face?
5.Have you ever woken up in the morning and wondered as to whether you had eaten supper the previous night?
6. Have you ever found out that you have many friends but who you don't know?
7. Have you ever caught yourself talking rapidly, but couldn't quite figure out what you were saying?
8 Has any of your limb/s demonstrated the tendency to move on its own accord without your consent?
9. does your face in the mirror scare you sometimes?
10. Have you ever forgotten where you are?
11. Have you ever hopelessly slummed your face into your plate?
12. Have you ever seen animals which are unknown to human science at its every best: blue leopards, pink hippopotamus, yellow elephants, orange dogs, 8 legged monkeys, snakes with feet, bearded cockroaches, or lizards in business suits?
13. Have you ever wondered what that terrible stench hovering every where was, or why it was following you, only to discover that it was you?
14. Have you ever found yourself where you don't know, with people you don't know?
15. Is everyone against you?
16. Have you ever lost your shoe when you were still walking?
17. Have you ever slept in your bed, only to wake up by the roadside?
18. Do you sometimes wish that you were not you?
19. Have you ever wound yourself going to the very place where you are wanted D.O.A, but continued to go there anyway?
20. Do you hear people who are not there? May be cops?
21. Are you most active at night?
22. Have you ever found yourself in another person's bed, and couldn't tell how you got there?
23. Or, have you ever found another person in your bed and couldn't tell how they got there?
24. Do you habitually disobey yourself- do exactly what you don't want to do?
25. Does your immovable bed spin when you are asleep?
26. Have you ever lit and smoked your cigarette the other way around (the but)?
27. Have you ever promised to do what you don't remember?
28. Have you ever feared your own socks?
29. Have you ever found out that you don't know why you do what you are doing?
30. Have you ever attended a wedding party, but later discovered that it was a funeral and you didn't know the dead people?
31. Have you ever invited yourself to a function where no one knew you?
32. Are you always ready to quit tomorrow?
Score: If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then you are al alcoholic or drug addict.
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