Worst Card Played!!!

My Dear husband,

I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Julie,
Your EX-Wife,

Ps: Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Nairobi together! Have a great life!

01/06/2011:

Dear Ex-wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work anymore.

I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment......and when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.

About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the UGX 99,000 price tag was still on it & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed UGX 100,000 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the UGX 500 Million Lotto, last Saturday, I left my job yesterday & today morning I bought 2 tickets for us to the Bahamas. But when I got home this evening, you were gone!

I guess everything happens for a reason... I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer confirms to me that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care,

Apollo,
Your Ex-Husband - Rich & Free as Hell !!!!!!!!!!....