Common Parenting Fails

There comes a time in almost every person’s life when the past transgressions of their parents rear their ugly heads. It’s at those times that most adults pledge never to make the same mistakes with their own kids. Then comes that inevitable day when the truth comes out: “I’ve become my mother” or “I’m acting just like my dad.” Most parents work hard to give their kids the best life possible, but kids don’t come with instruction manuals. Consequently, even the most diligent of parents can make a few mistakes along the way.

1. Giving Out Too Much Information – When kids are small, they don’t need a lot of information. In fact, they really just need the pertinent facts regarding the behavior you expect. A long explanation of why spinach is good for you isn’t going to do much to get your three year old to eat the stuff. Keep explanations short. When kids get older, say in their teens, they may need the short version again at times. Boredom usually sets in after the fifth or sixth word comes out of your mouth and everything else gets tuned out.
2. Taking a “Do as I Say, Not as I Do” Approach – This is an incredibly common mistake that teaches some questionable lessons. Even if your child stays in check when you are around and doesn’t mimic the behavior you’re modeling, don’t be surprised if your kid is doing exactly as you do when you’re out of sight. Remember – actions always speak louder than words.
3. Shying Away from Discipline – Discipline can be hard on a parent. Everyone has a desire to be liked, and parents want their kids’ love. So when little Johnny screams at the top of his lungs that he hates you for making him wash his hands before eating, it’s normal for you to feel bad until he decides to love you again when it’s time for dessert. But the truth is that if little Johnny doesn’t get the discipline he needs while he’s young, he may actually hate you later for allowing him to get himself in big trouble. Believe it or not, kids need and want boundaries. Start when they are young to train them in the right direction, and everyone will be much happier as time progresses.
4. Going Into Overprotective Mode – How can you possibly over-protect your child? Well, it happens all the time. There are “helicopter parents” that hover over everything their child does, and it usually has bad results. You may feel like you are doing the best thing for your child by making sure his world is comfortable, fair and seeing to it that he has few if any obstacles or challenges to overcome. But keep in mind that the tree that learns to bend with the wind survives the storms. Children must learn to cope with challenges, disappointment, unfairness and the realities of the world in which they live. You will not be able to protect your child from everything. It’s much better to teach him how to manage in the world.
5. Being Too Harsh with Discipline – In the long run, too many rules are just as fruitless as too few rules. It may seem that harsh discipline will keep the kids in shape and teach them to navigate the world. After all, you are preparing them for a tough environment. Still, once they leave the nest they may become completely wild because the restraints are off, or they end up being so afraid of making mistakes or breaking protocol that they become social misfits. Good discipline teaches a child how to weigh consequences of behavior and builds healthy self-esteem.
6. Being Dishonest – Sometimes parents will resort to dishonesty to deal with situations that they don’t want to handle or don’t know how to handle. “If you don’t clean up your room, the river rats will come in and eat your toes off while you’re sleeping.” That may actually work for a while, but sooner or later you will have to deal with the consequences of having told a lie to your child. Kids eventually pick up on their parents’ lies, and the message they get isn’t a good one. It’s best to keep the honesty in your relationship.
7. Failing to Work Together – Parents need to present a united front. Too often, parents get caught up in “good cop, bad cop” roles. If a child can play one parent against another as a means to an end, she will take advantage of the situation. You both need to stand firm and support the decision that was made by the other parent.
8. Giving In – Does your “no” mean “maybe” or “yes?” When a child constantly whines, cries or throws temper tantrums to get his way and his parents give in, ultimately the parent is being trained by the child while he learns that misbehaving gets the results he’s looking for. Stand by your word. Mean what you say, and don’t let any amount of bad behavior coerce or shame you into relenting.
9. Providing Instant Gratification – There’s an old saying, “Good things are worth waiting for.” It seems as though that adage has gone by the wayside. Society as a whole is used to getting everything on demand. Many parents give their kids whatever they ask for when they ask for it, because it’s easier and more convenient than listening to the whining. As a result, the child misses out on the valuable lessons of delayed gratification, working toward a goal or actually earning the object of his desire.
10. Instilling a Sense of Entitlement – This is a by-product of instant gratification. When a child consistently gets what he wants with little or no effort, he easily develops an attitude of entitlement. As he grows older, he genuinely does not understand why he can’t land a job making $70,000 right after graduation. After all, he feels that’s the least he deserves. There is a lot to be said for learning how to work your way up from the bottom. In fact, there’s a lot to be said about learning how to just work for what you want.

You certainly will want to make sure that you do the best possible job when it comes to parenting your children, but it’s important to remember that you’re only human. You will make mistakes along the way, it’s just up to you to minimize them where you can and learn from them as you go. Rather than beating yourself up over every misstep, try to find a lesson in your mistakes and teach your children to do the same.

Source: (http://www.fulltimenanny.com/blog/ten-common-parenting-fails/)