Are you Corporate???

Just read this posting from Isaac and I found it sooooo true!!

My colleagues and I recently had an argument as to whether we (in the media) qualify to be called corporate. One of my colleagues said “corporate” inKampala is a description of how one lives his/her life.

To most people, corporate means working in the private sector, especially the multi-national corporations; telecommunication companies; banks and to some extent, lawyers in good firms. However, in Kampala , a new trend has developed that helps identify the so-called corporates. These are young people in their twenties to mid thirties.

Monday to Friday are working days and the dress code has to depict corporate — designer shirts, shoes, a tie and trousers irrespective of where they were bought. The daring ones shop at high-class shops of the dent it leaves in their pockets not withstanding.

Usually, after a long working day, Mr. Corporate will dash to his favourite bar for a drink with his boys and it has to be at some of the relatively ‘happening’, upscale bars in Kampala, like Just kicking, Boda Boda, Fat boyz or Effendy’s.

It is easy to identify a corporate. Immediately one walks into a joint, you notice the shirt sleeves folded and tie loosened. He will stroll into the bar holding two phones and car keys in one hand with the other hand pocketed.

A corporate will sit at his favourite spot in the bar and order for a beer. Should I mention the mandatory plate of muchomo or pork? As corporates chat, the kabozi shifts from Obama’s policies to the Premiership and then to Formula one.

However, the thing that makes them easily noticed is that whether they are in a bar or night club, they will not take off the company tag.

A new phenomenon has developed amongst corporates. They stroll or jog in Kololo, a high-class residential area, dressed in their company T-shirts. They do this all in the name of exercising and one wonders; if they exercised in their suburbs, wouldn’t they keep fit?

A typical Kampala corporate must have a car, usually with the help of a bank loan. However, some are those lucky enough to drive company vehicles. They usually stay in places like Ntinda, Mutungo, Bukoto, Bugolobi and will not mind paying rent of up to sh500,000 a month, despite the fact that they earn between sh1m and sh1.5m monthly.

In a typical corporate’s home, you find state of the art home appliances, leather seats, a plasma screen, home theatre and surround system. The price of these gadgets is enough to buy a piece of land.

At social functions like the goat races, expect corporates in swarms. On weekends, the dress code is shorts and football jerseys with their names printed on the back. To them, the ‘happening’ place is the bar with the biggest TV screens, showing international football.

Weekends are also set aside for shopping at big malls including Shoprite, Game, Uchumi or Nakumatt. Some people drive all the way from Luzira toGarden City just to buy a detergent and bathing soap like the shops in their neighbourhood do not sell the items. If you want to identify a corporate shopping, just look out for the guy in shorts, holding a Black Berry phone, car keys and wallet in one hand and a Uchumi-branded kavera in the other hand. Some of them will hold a can of an energy drink.

Sundays are normally days for prayers. These corporates pray from Watoto Church , All Saints Cathedral, or Miracle Centre. So if you work in an office and do not do all the above, do not count yourself among Kampala corporate.

Mbu!!