Some jokes to brighten your day:

AVOID IT

A married couple having their first baby were invited to make use of a new
machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
labour pains to the
Baby's biological father wherever he may be. Both were
happy to try it.
The pain transfer was set to 10 percent but the husband
felt nothing So
the doctor increased it to 20 percent. The father said he
still felt Fine
and his blood pressure was normal. He invited the doctor to
kick it up to
50 percent. Still no reaction.
The doctor was amazed and slowly transferred all the pain
until the Wife
delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.
She and her husband and the doctor were ecstatic. When they
got home, the
gardener was lying dead at the gate, from the Labour
pains.
Avoid other people's wives by all means, please.


Michelle Obamas men

True story from the Japanese Embassy in US
Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English
conversation
training before he visits Washington and meets president
Barack
Obama...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, "When you
shake hands with
President Obama, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr.
Obama should say,
'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me
too'. Afterwards we,
translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said 'Who are
you?' (Instead of
'How are you?'.)
Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with
humor:
'Well, I'm Michelle's husband....'
Then Mori replied 'me too.'
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.




COME DOWN TO MY LEVEL

An illiterate woman boarded a plane from Enugu to
Abuja in Nigeria
She was booked for an economy class seat... Just after the
plane took-off, the woman stood up and went to sit in the
first class cabin.
The flight attendant went to ask her to go back and sit in
economy class because that's where the ticket allowed
her to sit but she refused.
She had paid and wanted the best seat. Then the attendant
informed the Jnr. pilot. The Jnr. pilot went and spoke with
the lady and she still refused. Then the Jnr. pilot went to
inform the chief pilot. The chief pilot said I am married to
an illiterate; I'll go and talk to her. The chief went
and whispered some words to the woman and she peacefully
stood-up and went to her economy class seat. The attendant
and Jnr. pilot surprisingly asked, sir what did you tell
her? The chief pilot said: Easy guys, I just told her that
first class is not going to Abuja, only economy class
is.

A Little Girl... A Dog...A Saudi and A
Policeman!!

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull
dog .He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He
succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's
life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and
says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all
the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of
little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New
Yorker!"

"Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning:
'Brave American saves life of little girl'" the
policeman answers. "But I am not an American!"
says the man. "Oh, what are you then?" The man
says: - "I am a Saudi!"
The next day the newspaper says: "Islamic
extremist kills innocent American dog".

LEVEL MUST CHANGE

An airplane was flying over the United States one
night. Then the pilot said: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the
plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown
out". A little later, the pilot said "We're
still losing altitude, we must throw anything out that is in
the cabin". The plane continued to descend despite more
things being thrown out.
Pilot: "Still going down - we must throw out some
people". There was a big gasp from the
passengers! Pilot: "But to make this fair, passenger will be
thrown out in alphabetical order. So...A... any Africans on board?" No one
moved.
"B... any Blacks on board?" No one
moved.
"C... any Coloureds on board?" Still, no one
moved.
"D... any Darkies?" Then a little black boy
- asked his dad:
"Dad what are we?
Dad: "Tonight son, we are Zulus!"

BIBAWO!