Thursday, June 14, 2012

Why Men Can Be Selfish and Stupid in Relationships

10 Reasons Men Can Be Selfish and Stupid in Relationships

It’s no secret to any woman who’s ever been in a relationship with a man that they can sometimes be incredibly selfish and unbelievably stupid. To add insult to injury, they’re often completely oblivious until their mistakes have been pointed out… repeatedly. Here are ten of the reasons why men can behave this way, even in happy relationships.

He Doesn’t Realize What He’s Doing – The biggest reason for most bad boyfriend behavior is actually quite simple: he has no idea that what he’s doing isn’t acceptable to you. This is especially the case with younger men who have limited relationship experience and are basing most of their actions around bad movies, men’s-magazine advice columns, and the collective knowledge of his equally-clueless buddies.
He Doesn’t Know Any Better – As they begin to get a bit more experience, some men will realize that they’re not behaving properly but are still clueless about what they should be doing. If he’s worth it, a bit of patience and a lot of communication can go a long way towards helping him grow.
Women Can Be Passive-Aggressive – Women like to believe that every stupid thing their man does is his own fault, but this isn’t always the case. Many times, his forehead-slapping behavior is the result of nagging, whining, or passive-aggressive actions on your part. Before flying off the handle, examine your own behavior to make sure that he’s not simply reacting to you.
He’s Under a Lot of Pressure – When people, male or female, are under an extreme amount of financial or professional pressure, they can lash out at the people closest to them. While it’s certainly never acceptable for him to be physically or verbally abusive, the occasional lapse in good sense is understandable if he’s under an enormous amount of stress.
He Has Feelings For Someone Else – Few things strike fear into the girlfriend’s heart like the idea that her man is secretly harboring an affection for another woman. Unfortunately, this does happen from time to time, and can cause some pretty abhorrent behavior on his part. If his selfish behavior is accompanied by distance and clues that indicate potential infidelity, it may be time for a serious heart-to-heart.
He’s Frustrated in Other Areas of His Life – Frustration with his career path or the direction of his life as a whole can cause a man to question even the things that are going right in his life. Regardless of how good your relationship may be, if he feels stifled in other areas, he may begin to feel as if you’re holding him back as well.
He Takes You For Granted – At a certain point in a relationship, two people become comfortable with one another and begin to settle into a routine. When your man is confident that the two of you have a good thing going and he believes it will last, he can inadvertently begin to take you for granted. In a strange twist, his frustrating behavior can indicate that he’s simply so sure about your relationship and its future that he no longer feels as if he has to be constantly on guard.
He Had No Positive Male Role Models – Boys who grow up in a single-parent household in which their mother was their sole caregiver may not have a strong male role model in their life, causing them to grow into men with no real-life examples to guide them in how men behave in healthy relationships.
He Has Even Dumber Friends – Women aren’t the only ones who grill their friends for advice; men just do it in different ways. Between crude jokes and raucous laughter, nuggets of dubious relationship wisdom are passed along. All too often, the tips picked up at these gatherings leave women shaking their heads in disbelief and frustration.
He’s Just Not That Into You – The phrase that launched a bestselling book and spawned a blockbuster romantic comedy is so popular because it is so true: sometimes, a man just isn’t that interested in the woman he’s dating. If his behavior is consistently aloof or indifferent, he may just be using you as a diversion until something better comes along. While this can be hurtful in the immediate, shouldering the pain and removing yourself from this unhealthy relationship is the best thing you can do for your long-term happiness.

Some men, especially those who are in or just finishing college, make mistakes in their love lives simply out of a lack of experience. Others, however, may just be no-good guys. Try to be objective when evaluating his behavior; if his intentions are genuine but his application is lacking, he may just need a bit of patience on your part. Men that treat you poorly and feel no compunction about it aren’t likely to change anytime soon, though. In this case, it’s probably best to cut your losses.