Sunday, June 3, 2012

Signs You Should Not be Dancing in Public

10 Signs You Should Not be Dancing in Public

It’s safe to say we’ve all probably seen those people out on the dance floor who are “dancing” with their arms flailing around uncoordinatedly, and all you can do is wonder what they would think if they could see themselves in a mirror right at that moment. Though with embarrassing and incriminating cell phone videos dominating YouTube these days we all probably need to be a little more careful because we could easily end up starring in our own little dancing YouTube video. And really, how embarrassing would that be? Check out these 10 signs that indicate you should not be dancing in public:

Your dance moves are hurting other people: If the management comes out and asks for your insurance information because theirs won’t cover injuries caused by reckless dancing you probably should take a break and sit the next song out. All that jumping around, bumping into people, and stepping on feet isn’t doing anything other than inflicting bruises on other unsuspecting dancers.
You have fallen down more than three times: This one is pretty clear. While you may think you are the God’s gift to dancing, that’s likely just wishful thinking that you have killer dance moves, or it’s the alcohol tricking you into believing you’ve suddenly traded your klutziness for grace.
Everyone else has left the dance floor: When your gyrations have gotten so out of control that everyone else has left the dance floor for fear of getting run over by you then you know you should not be dancing in public. It might happen slowly at first, but when you start out shoulder to shoulder with people and then all of sudden you have enough room to do cart wheels you need to ask yourself why you are the only one left on the dancing.
People are all pointing at you: You are so engrossed in dancing that you don’t notice that everyone in the room is pointing at you. Sure, it may be that your pants have fallen down or your blouse has popped open, but the odds that it’s more your incessant and outdated lawnmower moves that have people gaping.
Your partner has left the building: You’ve heard of Elvis leaving the building right? Well, now your partner has left. At first you think that they just ran to the restroom, but after a while you notice that they never came back. Either you have really bad breath or your sweet dance moves turned out to be not so sweet.
The room is spinning and you aren’t: This is an instant giveaway that you should not be dancing in public. You have definitely had too much to drink if the room is spinning and you are not. The odds are good that in this condition you probably aren’t the best dancer. In fact, you’re probably not the best at anything right now.
Someone mentions the words “strip club”: Some people’s dancing style is more appropriate for the bedroom or a strip club than for dancing in public. If you hear people talking about your dancing followed by the words strip club and possibly pole, all in the same sentence, then you might want to rethink your current dance moves.
The DJ stops the music when you come onto the floor: If every time you come onto the floor the DJ takes a break or stops playing music you should probably get the hint that you should not be dancing in public. I wouldn’t worry if it only happens once, but if it happens more than once it’s time to reevaluate.
They show you the private dance room in back: In some clubs I’m sure they do have private rooms in the back for dancing, but in most clubs they just have one big dance floor. So if someone comes and shows you to the private dance room you should probably check to make sure it’s not a closet, or worse, a door to the back alley.
People start mentioning Funniest Home Videos: When everyone you know has a camera on their phone you might be careful when you start hearing people talk about sending clips of you dancing into Funniest Home Videos. You should be especially cautious if you look around and see a dozen people taking video of you. Odds are that they aren’t taking video so they can go home and study your moves. It’s more likely that you can expect to be starring in your own YouTube video very soon.