You’re probably wondering if it’s actually possible to win every argument. And the answer is… maybe. Then again, maybe not; it really all depends on how you handle things. I can give some ways that will help both of you and it will be a win/win situation. To a guy winning doesn’t always mean that she has changed her point of view entirely and tells him that he is right. After all, I said I can help; I’m not a miracle worker. The majority of the time guys consider it winning when the argument ends. Women, on the other hand, tend to get riled up and will beat a dead horse if they are passionate enough about a subject. Women have no problem waiting until you tell them they’re right.
- Change the subject: When you start to notice that your girlfriend is getting heated up about a topic from the news that you two disagree on, change the subject abruptly. Say, “Oh! I forgot to tell you that Tom at work got fired, had a baby, bought a car…” Anything you can think of that is superfluous gossip will abruptly shift the mood. She will be caught off guard and when her thoughts shift to whatever news you told her it should take the wind out of her sails. No argument so you win!
- Compliment her: Look at her when she is yelling at you or adamantly making her case and find something about her at that moment that you find beautiful and tell her about it. While the tried and true, “You are beautiful when you are angry” may work for some women, others might think it trite. You can say something about how beautiful her eyes are when they flash with anger. The compliment will deflate the argument so you can move on to something else. She may make a few half-hearted attempts at continuing the argument after, but then it will fizzle because she’ll be wrapped up in your compliment. Girls like compliments.
- Bring her a glass of wine: If she is super angry and there’s a chance she will throw the glass of wine on you then I would skip the red and bring her a glass of white. Otherwise, bring her whatever her favorite wine is or whatever you have that is easily accessible. The thoughtfulness of your actions will reduce her anger and give her time to think while she is sipping the wine. The alcohol itself should mellow her over time so you win.
- Agree to disagree: This is the type of win where the guy just gets the argument to be over so he can move on with his day. Just ask her if you two can just agree to disagree on this point or topic. If she keeps trying to tell you her side just let her know that at some later date you might be open to hearing the pros and cons, but for now you just want to agree to disagree and move on. If she is rational that should be the end of the argument.
- Don’t argue in the first place: Okay, this may seem like not so much a way to win an argument, but a technique. If you hit on a topic that gets her upset just stop talking about it. Acknowledge her points and say something like, “I’ve never thought about it like that. Can I have time to think over your points?” She will say yes and the argument will end before it even ever gets off the ground.
- Make her laugh: The quickest way to end an argument is to make the other person laugh. The trick is that you have to be clever enough to know what to do to make her laugh. Remember, what makes her laugh normally may not work when she is angry. Tickle her, make a face at her or draw a face on your hand and make it talk in a funny accent. Anything that will interrupt the argument should work to end it.
- Do something out of character: What would your girlfriend do if, in the middle of an argument, you dropped down on the floor and did a somersault? Of course, if you normally do somersaults it would not be out of character so you would need to pick something else. Grab a bottle of bubble juice and start blowing bubbles. No one can stay angry with bubbles in the air. They are just so darn happy!
- Whisper: I used to use this technique a lot when I was on the phone with an irate attorney. I would gradually speak softer and softer and he would have to stop yelling to hear what I was saying. When someone is whispering at you or speaking in very low tones it’s hard for you to continue shouting at them.
- Refuse to get angry: If you refuse to lose your temper and keep your voice at a normal volume then what you are having is a debate and not an argument. Debates can often be won, but sometimes they just end in a tie.
- Slow dance with her: Depending on the girl you might have to catch her early in the argument to do this. If she is already livid she will not let you get near her and you won’t be able to get her into a slow dance. But if you grab her early and twirl her around the room she will calm down. And isn’t making up the best part about arguing anyway?
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