Thursday, October 27, 2011

Memorable Speech of Idi Amin Dada

Field Marshal Al Haji Dr Idi Amin Dada CBE

After a luncheon hosted by the Queen in London in his honour, the former Ugandan leader Idi Amin Dada had this to say for his vote of thanks.

"My majesty Mr. Queen Sir, horrible ministers and members of parliament, invented Guests, ladies under gentlemen. I hereby thank you completely…..Mr. Queen, sir; and also what he has done for me and my fellow Uganda who come with me.

We have really eaten very much. And we are fed up completely: And also very thanks to you keenly open up from all windows: so that those plenty climates can come into lunch. But before I go back to my country with a plane from the Entebbe airport of London I wish to invitation you Mr. Queen, to become home to Uganda so that we can also revenge on you .

You will eat a full cow: and also feel up your stomach and walk with difficult because of full stomach completely. Even when you want to rest at night; I will make sure that you sleep on top of me in the top up stairs of my mansion completely so that you can enjoy all the gravity of fresh air.

"But now am sorry because I have to tell you that I have made a short call on you only. But next time I shall make a long call on you to last the whole moon completely. Thank you very much to allow me to undress you completely before these extinguished ladies under gentlemen sir.

Lastly but not list, I ask the band to play our international anthem of the republic of Uganda and also the British international anthem..Your majesty sir, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the bottoms of all the people of Uganda .

With this few words I thank you Sir.

Police Officer in the UK


http://www.emercedesbenz.com/Images/Mar06/17PoliceOfficerHoldingMachineGun.jpg


Question:
How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?


Answer:
First – Let's pose the following situation:

You're on duty by yourself, walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and plunges himself at you. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot, however you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.

What do you do?


BRITISH POLICE OFFICER:

Firstly the officer must consider the man's position.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed?
2) Has he newly arrived in this country and does not yet fully understand the law?
3) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
4) Am I dressed provocatively?
5) Could I run away?
6) Could I possibly swing my gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
7) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss the wrongfulness of his action?
8) Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
9) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
12) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?
13) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?

AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER:

BANG!


AMERICAN POLICE OFFICER:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 'click'....
(Sergeant arrives at scene later and remarks: 'Nice grouping!)

With kind permission of Theo Koopman

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

10 Signs You Update FaceBook Too Frequently


FaceBook status updates have become a common form of communication between friends and acquaintances. Some folks, however, get a bit carried away with it. Here are 10 signs that you update FaceBook too frequently.

  1. Before Reading. The very first sign that you may be updating your FaceBook status too often, is if you find that you’ve come back to read this article after having opened a new window or tab to post on your wall, before continuing on.
  2. Homework Updates. Another sign that you’re posting too often on FaceBook is when you realize you’ve posted on your teenager’s wall to ask about his or her homework. This is especially true if the two of you are both at home at the time of your asking.
  3. Serial Burglary. Your house has been burglarized 3 times in the last 2 months, because the creepy older brother of one of your son’s friends keeps track of your where-abouts through your facebook postings. This one is a sure sign that you are updating your Facebook status a bit too frequently.
  4. Recognized by Strangers. If people you’ve never met regularly approach you on the street and address you by name and ask if your cat still refuses to use the litter box, you’re probably updating FaceBook too often.
  5. OMG! Out Loud. If you ever catch yourself saying OMG! on witnessing an amazing event in real life, it’s time to consider how frequently you update your FaceBook status. This also includes out loud utterance of other acronyms, such as saying TY instead of thank you.
  6. Too Much Information. If your doctor calls you to suggest a possible solution to your frequent urination issues, and you haven’t reported any such thing to the doctor’s office, you’re probably updating FaceBook with too much information and too often.
  7. Status: Unemployed. If your FaceBook friends know that you’ve been laid-off from your job before your spouse knows, you are definitely posting status updates too often. On the flip side, the same is true if your FaceBook friends know about your promotion before your spouse knows about it.
  8. Unseen Award. If you look up from your computer and realize that your daughter has already received her high school diploma and is walking back to her seat, you’re probably updating FaceBook too often.
  9. Withdrawal. You may be updating FaceBook too frequently, if you begin to sweat and feel a tremor in your mouse hand when a staff meeting runs long and keeps you away from your computer for more than an hour.
  10. 3rd Person. Another sign to watch for is a shift toward 3rd person responses when someone asks you how you are doing. As it happens, the author of this article is just fine, though a little tired today. He thanks you for caring.

If you find yourself nodding your head or smiling sheepishly at 3 or more of these signs, don’t be surprised if a day comes when your family or pastor arranges for an intervention and takes your smart-phone away from you for a while.

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Angry Birds!



Source: Make UseOf Geeky Fun

Finally I Can go Home And Rest!

Source: Make UseOf Geeky Fun

Dear God.....!


Source: Make UseOf Geeky Fun


The Art of Procrastination





Source: Make UseOf Geeky Fun

Uganda Crackdown on Opposition Mutes Protest Movement

Uganda Crackdown on Opposition Mutes Protest Movement

Mixing up numbers can be fatal!!!

It is always good to be sure of the number on your cell-phone screen before you press the green button or send that message!!!

Two people dead because of exchanged digits!!!

Riiiiiiiiiiing Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing "Hello?" "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the
bedroom with Mommy right now." Brief Pause. "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and
knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway." "Okay Daddy, just a minute." A few minutes
later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy." "And what happened honey?" "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all" "Oh my
God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?" "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead." Long Pause... Longer Pause... Even Longer Pause...
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?" No, this is 486-5713..... Sorry son, wrong number - tell them it wasnt Daddy (but a stranger!!!!)

Police crack down on Ugandan protesters - Africa - Al Jazeera English

Police crack down on Ugandan protesters - Africa - Al Jazeera English

Thursday, October 20, 2011

A4C chiefs deny going underground

Besigye remains besieged

Footage shows Gaddafi's bloodied body

Gadhafi killed: NTC spokesman

Gadhafi killed: NTC spokesman

2 Besigye aides remanded to Luzira

Eating fruits?

We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat.

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

It means not eating fruits after your meals! *
Fruits should be eaten on an empty stomach.

If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

Fruit is the most important food.
Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.
In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil....
So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals! You have heard people complaining — every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc — actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!


Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes all these will NOT happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.

There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.

You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!

Medicinal Food

Food as Medicine

HEAD ACHE?
EAT FISH! Eat plenty of fish.
Fish oil helps prevent headaches.
So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.


HAVE FEVER?

EAT YOGURT!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also eat honey from your area (local region) daily.


TO PREVENT STROKE?
DRINK TEA!
Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea.
(Actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading .... Green tea is great for our immune system)!



INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP)?
HONEY!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.



ASTHMA?
EAT ONIONS!!!!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes.
(When I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest, helped the respiratory ailments and actually made us breathe better).

ARTHRITIS?
EAT FISH, TOO!!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis.
(fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)


UPSET STOMACH?
BANANAS and GINGER!!!!!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach.
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.


BLADDER INFECTION?
DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.

BONE PROBLEMS?
EAT PINEAPPLE!!!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.


PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME?
EAT CORNFLAKES!!
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.


MEMORY PROBLEMS?
EAT OYSTERS!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.

COLDS?
EAT GARLIC!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic.
(remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)

COUGHING?
USE RED PEPPERS!!
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper.
Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.


BREAST CANCER?
EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels.

+

LUNG CANCER?
EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.

ULCERS?
EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.


DIARRHEA?
EAT APPLES!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition.
(Bananas are good for this ailment)


CLOGGED ARTERIES?
EAT AVOCADO!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.


HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?
EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.


BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE?
EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!!
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.


Kiwi:
Tiny but mighty.
This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E &fiber.
It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.


Apple:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

Strawberry:
Power among Protective fruit.
Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant vessels clogging free radicals protects the body from cancer causing, blood & major fruits. Anti-oxidants and they actually keep us actually; any berry is good for you.
They're high in them get rid of all ...
(best and very versatile in the health field blueberries are the ... young (free-radicals that invade our bodies them)


Orange:
Oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower Sweetest medicine.
Taking 2 - 4 .cancer dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon & cholesterol, prevent


Watermelon:
They are also a key source of dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system packed with a giant Coolest Thirst Quencher.
Composed of 92% water, it is also other nutrients .
lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant Potassium& found in watermelon are Vitamin C.
(watermelon also has natural substances) rays sources [that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn sun natural SPF].


Guava &Papaya:
Top awards for Vitamin C.. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content.
Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent constipation.


Tomatoes:
a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems are very good as their bodies from invading.

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