Lukwago and Seya

I couldn't resist sharing this hilarious piece doing rounds online

The new Lord Mayor is sipping a cup of tea. His phone rings. He asks his twin daughter to pass it to him.

Phone: Riing riing
Lukwago: (picking it) Hello!
Seya: Yee Ssebo

Lukwago: Hello..Hello...I'm not getting you clearly.
Seya: Network is shaking heavily.
Lukwago: I can't hear you, sir.

Seya: Extend further if you are not hearing.
Lukwago: I can now hear you.
Seya: Congratulations.

Lukwago: Thank you. May I please know who I'm talking to?
Seya: The mayor.
Lukwago: Shya! Which mayor?

Seya: Of Kampala .
Lukwago: Unless you are a nightmare.
Seya: No, even during the day. This is Seya.

Lukwago: Sorry, I thought it was an imposter.
Seya: No, no, no, I never had posters this time.
Lukwago: I mean imposter. Someone who disguises himself as somebody else.

Seya: I don't know that one. I never saw his disgusting poster.
Lukwago: Anyway, so what's cooking?

Seya: Eh, Lukwago! You have a big nose. It's Biringanya. My wife is in the kitchen roasting it.
Lukwago: Haha... So, why did you call me?
Seya: I calling to tell you know that city council not easy.

Lukwago: What do you mean?
Seya: You have to be careless with the people.
Lukwago: I don't understand.

Seya: You have to care less about their deals. They are terrific.
Lukwago: I'm confused. What makes them terrific?

Seya: They terrify you with threatenings of death if you don't similar with their plans.
Lukwago: Don't worry; I will handle them my way.

Seya: You can't find them on your way. They stay in posho areas like Kololo, Naguru, etc.
Lukwago: Leave them to me. Sorry, I didn't come to visit you at Nakasero hospital when you were feared dead.

Seya: Yah, that was a serious terrible. They announced along the radio that I had died.
Lukwago: What exactly happened?

Seya: The degree of sugar had risen in the blood. The doctor admitted me and put me on bottles of water.
Lukwago: That was sad.

Seya: No, no. It was pressure. The doctor treated me and after two days, I was dispatched.
Lukwago: That's good to hear.

Seya: Anyway, I called to congratulation you for being elected and wish you good in your term of office.
Lukwago: Thank you. So, how do you desire to retire?

Seya: Stop discussing history. I left Desire a long time ago.

Just then, I heard a knock on the door. I jumped out of bed only to find the landlord with an eviction notice.

What a dream that was!