Below is a collection of comments published in press that have been attributed to
MAJ. GEN. KAHINDA OTAFIIRE
On suggestions that he should be arrested for war crimes in DR Congo
I have nothing to worry about. Did you hear of me eating pygmies in DRC? I am a free man and can travel anywhere unless the world is ruled by jungle law.
On what his stage name would be if he were a musician
I can never be a musician at any point or even think about that nonsense. It is below my dignity, my friend. It is a disgrace for me to begin contributing to such topics because it is total rubbish. By the way, do you know who you are talking to? I cannot change my name to such nonsense because I have better things to do other than that rubbish.
On what he remembers about his mother on Mother’s Day
Eeeeh! Mother’s what? What is Mother’s Day? Please, I have told you, if you do not have anything good to do, don’t do it with me, okay? I said do not waste my time (hangs up).
On tax wrangles in Nakawa Division
I heard Bamwine telling people to shun the local government tax. He said it was Otafiire tax. Ye yiko mujinga na mutumbavu kabisa. How can that ignorant man tell people to resist a law that was passed by the Cabinet and Parliament? Who does he think he is? He must watch out.
On the Bible in Parliament
I know where to find Bibles. I can get them in shops but not in Parliament. I have even failed to read all the Bibles I have at home.
On whether he should force UTODA to discipline taxi drivers
I am a minister of local government. I am not a minister of vehicles.
On Kampala LC3 Chairman, Godfrey Nyakana
What is personal between me and Nyakana? If there was, I would have sent the police after him. Appointing a probe means I want him to have a fair hearing. I do not run this ministry like my personal kibanja (land).
On Nyakana’s building in the wetland
You very well know that the only animals that have got the license to live in wetlands are frogs, fish and crocodiles. Nyakana is neither a fish nor a crocodile. What was he doing there to complain that Otafiire has demolished his building? What was his house doing in the wetland? Is Nyakana a frog?
On media reports that he snubbed NRM retreat to Kyankwanzi
What the Red Pepper has been writing is utter rubbish! Typical pit latrine stuff that should be treated with the contempt it deserves.
“Your name is being dragged into Kampala ’s problems...”
Surely, if my name was not dragged in, it would mean that I was idle. I am the man in charge of local government. But the fact that my name is dragged into it does not mean that the allegations are correct. It is those wrongdoers who don’t want me to interfere who accuse me.
On bush war heroes who have fallen out with the NRM
The motives of mankind are less transparent than the emotions they produce.
On standing surety for Muhwezi
Yes, he is my friend. Even if he had committed murder and was condemned to death, I would still take him his last meal. That does not mean I share his innocence or guilt.
On Obugabe for Banyankole
Those who say that “there is no bugabe, we are going to die”, you die. There is a big lake here, you go jump into it. Mugabe’s grandfather ruled my grandfather by force, not by consent. This is an age of democracy; you want to be king, let’s hold an election, you beat me, you become king, I beat you, then I take over. I am also going to crown myself Ishabaruhinda because Ruhinda is my constituency.
On Baganda clamouring for federo
You have been here without federo, aren’t you alive? If you want to die, die. Why don’t you die for something worthwhile?
Rapping federo and district agitators
We are here wailing for federo and more districts, when Europeans are merging to form bigger blocs. Africans are obsessed with small chiefdoms, small ideas and small women. The other day, someone was threatening to eat skeletons if he was not given a district.
On reports that he owned a plot in a wetland
Am I a frog or do I look like a crocodile to live in a wetland? I have no plot in a wetland as claimed. In 1991 when I was still in the army in Bombo, the late Serugendo, the then Kampala Town Clerk, identified a plot for me in Bugolobi but I was not aware it was in the wetland. In any case, I never followed it up. If it is still there, then whoever is interested in it should take it.
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