Top Gear is a British television show about motor vehicles, primarily cars,
and is the world's most widely watched factual television programme. It began
in 1977 as a conventional motoring magazine show. Over time, and especially
since a relaunch in 2002, it has developed a quirky, humorous and sometimes
controversial style. The show is currently presented by Jeremy Clarkson,
Richard Hammond and James May, and has featured at least three different test
drivers known as The Stig. The programme is estimated to have around 350
million views per week in 170 different countries. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Gear_(2002_TV_series)
I had not been a fan of the Top Gear Programme on TV, until recently.
While in Uganda, I casually opened Clarkson’s book; “Driven to Distraction”,
and read Clarkson’s criticism of the Mercedes ML 320 series car. I found it
easy to read, comical though rather sexist.
Clarkson was in Norway and he joked that “the language is a portpourri
of sounds and expression, like it was derived from noises made by mooses” I
quote: “….the Norwegian for ‘parking’ is parkering….but doesn’t work with other
verbs like ‘talking’ for instance is not talkering.”
Clarkson thinks the M-Class is pretty much like Norway the country.
Efficient and good fun, but odd and too expensive! I promised myself to read
the whole book, but months later haven’t touched it! Recently I was browsing
through the day’s TV programmes and my eye caught site of Top Gear’s In search
of the Source of The Nile program. I decided to watch it.
In this episode, Top Gear attempted to find the 'true' source of the
Nile in £1500 estate cars. They claimed that no one had truly found its source
and that some explorers who claimed to have found though this was not the case.
The episode begins in some small town in Uganda. Clarkson appears
first with a station wagon BMW 527 2WD series. He liked it because of its
simple mechanical engineering. We are told he bought it second hand from
Britain at £1,500. Next Richard Hammond drives in with a Subaru Impreza WRX 4
WD turbo. He boasts that for £1500 this was the best car. Last is James may
with a similar priced Volvo estate 850 R. Each one boasts that his car is the
best.
We are told this epic journey in the heart of Africa is to find the
real source of the Nile. In this little Ugandan village, villagers look on in awe,
as the three white people with their cars seem lost. Motorcycle taxis (Boda
boda as they are locally called) zoom past some with passengers, others with
goods like iron bars!
In their conversation about the Nile, they claim the Romans, Arabs and
early white explorers all searched in vain for the source of the Nile River.
Today it is formerly known that it starts in Jinja, though other schools of
thought claim it is in Rwanda or Burundi.
Within a few minutes we are taken to Jinja at the present source of
the Nile. After looking around, they all agreed this was not the real source.
On their way from Jinja, the motorcade of the president passed them. They were
forced by security, like all other cars to give way. They proceeded to Entebbe,
old airport where the Israelites rescued their people in 1977 in a daring raid.
Signs of the raid by way of bullet holes are still evident almost 40 years
later.
Art Entebbe, a Ford Scorpio was sighted, still in very good shape.
From Entebbe, the trio was stuck in a 3-hour traffic jam. They had
never seen anything like this. Clarkson commented that it was like a scrap yard
with vehicles either not moving or when they moved it was at 7 km per hour! The
traffic jam offered them an opportunity to have breakfast from the vendors.
There was roast meat, bananas, cassava and Rolex (a Uganda food made up of
chapatti flat bread and eggs rolled up). The bananas were heavy and very nice
according to Clarkson.
After 3 hours in the traffic jam, they proceed west. The road was like
the M4 (a
motorway which runs between London and South Wales in the United Kingdom).
Along the way, they bought a present for Richard in form of a sofa. It was too
big to fit in the boot, so he tied it on the roof of the Subaru. The speed
humps along the highway punished the BMW and Volvo, which have low suspension.
The Subaru however sailed through.
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| Experiencing Kampala's traffic jam: Photo by http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia |
They drove for a long distance without finding a hotel. Following
Richard’s advice, they branched off the highway very sure that they would find
accommodation according to Richard’s theory. They didn’t. Back to the highway,
they continued driving until they reached a small town where they looked for a
place to sleep. They found ‘Economic Lodge’, but on inspecting their rooms,
they found leaking bathrooms, dirty walls, loud sound on the roof made by rain
hitting the iron sheets, dirty mattresses covered with human faeces
(excrements) and they decided to sleep in the cars instead.
The next day, they decided to customize their cars to provide
themselves with perfect accommodation: Egyptian cotton and a coffin used as a
chest of drawers, a fridge with beer and a toilet and shower for Clarkson; a
kitchenette with a gas cooker for Hammond and a library with a desk and books
for May. They also bought a flat iron, which uses charcoal and many other
incendiaries.
As they drover further west, they drove over more and more
speed humps and at one time they seemed continuous. They made the car houses
rumple throwing things like cutlery and books all over the cars. They also
encountered more and more animals like monkeys and elephants. Between them they
had intercommunication radios so they were able to talk to each other all the
way through.
Eventually they got to the shores of lake Edward and had
some chilled beer as they watched the sun go down. The Volvo had broken down
along the way, but it was mended that evening. Clarkson’s BMW had a siren and
they used an iPhone for navigation.
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| In Western Uganda pondering what next; Photo by http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia |
They went around the lakes Edward and George and disproved
the theory that the Nile starts in Rwanda or Burundi because these two lakes
are not connected in any way by a river. Tanzania was the remaining possibility
as the source of the Nile. They decided to drive through Rwanda to northern
Tanzania to the east of lake Victoria, where they suspected the Nile originated
from.
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| In Western Uganda: Photo by http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia |
On their way to Rwanda through Kabale in Uganda, they
drove past people riding wooden bicycles! The Subaru scampered along the bad
roads unhindered unlike the BMW and Volvo. The road was really bad and they
admitted this was one of the toughest top gear adventures.
Near Rwanda they got onto a good road and again they wrongly
attributed it to the Chinese. Even when they entered Rwanda and met good roads,
they also did the same. They found Rwanda had already forgotten the genocide on
the surface at least with so many people walking along the roads all happily
waving at the trio. After the short drive through Rwanda they crossed into
Tanzania.
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| The makeshift raft: Photo by http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia |
Somewhere in Tanzania the Subaru like the other cars
before it for the first time gets mechanical problems and is unable to continue
at the same pace with others. When they get along a riverbank, they fail to find
a bridge to cross it. Clarkson gets out a heli camera (Camera mounted on a mini
helicopter operated by radio) and sends it to the sky to scout around for any
bridge they can use to cross the river. They establish that there is no bridge
and decide to build a raft to use to cross. They collect logs, timber, empty
fuel drums, and ropes and they build the raft. The first on the raft is
Clarkson’s BMW and the others follow one by one. Unfortunately Hammond’s sofa
and one of the cars of the camera crew don’t make it.
The Tanzanian roads are not as good as Uganda’s or
Rwanda’s. Clarkson comments that they are not Chinese built. There are too many
potholes, too many lake flies, but they eventually make it to the shores of
lake Victoria. They used a ferry to cross the lake.
The road to Serengeti was terrible and they experiences
tyre punctures, broken shock absorbers, airbag problems and the like. Each car
experienced one sort of break down or another.
Along the way, they see hippos, zebras; wild beasts and other animals
and they also enjoy the stunning beauty of the Tanzanian countryside.
After checking their bearings, they realized that the
source of the Nile was in the vicinity. They decided to make an individual rush
to find it, since history would recognize only the first guy to get to it. So
they raced for the source in the same direction but using different paths. The
passed buffaloes and lions along the way.
On one of the hills were they climbed the rocks, having
left their cars at a lower level, James May beat Clarkson by a few seconds to
find some watering hole amid the rocks, which he declared the new source of the
Nile. Top gear and UK flags were hoisted at the point marking it as the source
of the great river!
I found the two episodes hilarious to watch because of
being extremely funny. The sofa gift offered to Hammond whose car did not have
enough space, but still carried it on the roof shows the silliness that makes
everyone smile. As a person who knows the Geography of where they were, it was
interesting when some facts got misrepresented.
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| Passenger service vans caught up in Kampala's unending traffic jam |
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| Bananas atop a head of a young girl vendor in Kampala |
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| Clarkson buys bananas during the jam |
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| Roast meat during the jam hours |
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| The Volvo stuck in Kampala's traffic jam |
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| The cars |
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| hammond in the lead in his Subaru Impreza along a Uganda highway |
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| Clarkson, May and Hammond by May's Volvo |
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| Hammond, Clarkson and May by the Volvo |
1 comment:
watched this episode but your detailed retelling was amazing.. we miss their humour
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